Jimmy Fallon Quotes

I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the M...

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at spor...

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader...

My wife and I got engaged in New Hampshire at this lake house that her family's had forever, and it'...

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have...

I want to be a dad. That's floating to the top of my list. I think it's such an important thing. I'm...

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, pr...

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them so...

I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake a...

Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no...

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just t...

My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the...